Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
