God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
