There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
