His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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