Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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