I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
