Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't deserve a penis
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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