So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
