please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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