How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
