Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
