I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
