C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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