Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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