my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
