Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
