He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well you can't waste a boner
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
