i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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