Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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