i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
