This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
