dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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