it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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