I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
