i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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