I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
