the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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