Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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