'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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