I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
