So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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