woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
