You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
