Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
