No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
