I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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