I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
