so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
