4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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