i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
