She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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