we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
