I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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