Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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