one might say we're banned from that church
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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