so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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