so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
