sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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