so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
