I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
