You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
