it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
